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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561211">(MON)STAR</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus'>PinkLotus (EspurrsVena)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>JO1 (Japan Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dreaming, Fantasy elements, Fluff, M/M, no beta we die like real men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:27:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Years ago Ren started to dream about watching another boy sleeping. It was creepy in a way, but he felt connected to the other one who he had never met in real life.<br/>But it will take years until they finally meet.<br/>(Loosely based on the Monstar lyrics)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(MON)STAR</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren didn’t even remember when those dreams had started. From time to time, he dreamed how he was standing in another bedroom, watching over a boy sleeping. Nothing else happened - just him standing in the room and watching over the other one. It felt so real and so surreal at the same time. It had to be nothing but a dream the logical part of his brain told him, yet besides the strangeness of the situation each dream felt as real as his daily life.  </p>
<p>Nevertheless, each time he woke up, the memory of the sleeping boy was vivid but after some time he forgot him again – until the next dream happened.<br/>
Once he found himself in that room again, Ren started to remember the previous dreams and the boy. He felt connected to him in some in explainable way. But what did he knew about the world? He was still a highschooler who hadn't seen much of the wonders of the realms.</p>
<p>After a few dreams Ren became braver and went closer to the sleeping boy. The sleeping one was about his own age, maybe a bit younger. His head was shaved and as far as the moonlight suggested he was tanned by the sun – a sports kid Ren assumed. The whole time the boy slept soundly while hugging a towel and a dog plushie.<br/>
The dog plushie reminded Ren of when he was younger and wanted to become a dog – the dog just looked like he imagined his dog self.<br/>
But again, not much happened in those nights.<br/>
It would take another few dreams of Ren sitting next to the other one for something to happen.  </p>
<p>Again he was sitting in front of the bed, watching the boy sleeping like always. In a way Ren felt weird for doing this but he had honestly no better idea what to do. Because it was a dream, sleeping was no option.<br/>
Some dreams ago he had explored the room already but there wasn’t anything he could entertain himself with.  </p>
<p>The sleeping one seemed to be like the typical baseball kid with all the sports’ gear he saw in that room. Ren couldn’t relate to that; dancing was his passion.<br/>
There were also some CDs and Ren recognised some artists, but listening to those weren’t an option either. He didn’t want to wake the other one. They didn't seem to have much in common and yet they were connected in some strange way.</p>
<p>However, all of sudden the boy stirred in his sleep and two big eyes were looking right at him.<br/>
“Monster!”, Ren heard the other one saying before he woke up, too. </p>
<p>The look of the other one and the way he called him a monster were burned into Ren’s mind. For the first time, he didn’t forget the dream after a few hours. He couldn’t forget the other one’s face anymore. The whole day his thoughts stayed with the boy and once more he wasn’t sure whether it was truly just a dream. </p>
<p>It happened to be the day that Ren’s grandmother decided to pay a visit. While he didn’t see her often, she noticed on the spot that something was wrong with him. The old woman was kind, so when his brothers were out of sight - they would tease him for sure -, he told her about the dreams. </p>
<p>“You’ve met your soulmate.”, she said with a soft smile.<br/>
“What?” Ren was still a teenager but he knew the concept of soulmates from movies he had watched, yet it felt unrealistic that destiny would even pick the perfect partner for you. He believed in destiny itself and that there was a path for everyone, but this was something too big for him.<br/>
“Sometimes when the stars align just right, you and your soulmate are able to meet even if you are apart from each other. That you’ve met so often already, is a sign that your bond will be a strong one.”<br/>
“But he called me a monster...” </p>
<p>The way the other one had said it was still echoing in Ren’s mind. The voice was full of fear and anger...<br/>
“Ren, imagine you suddenly see someone in your bedroom after waking up in the middle of the night. You would be shocked, too.” His grandmother took him into her arms. “You will see him again. You two are destined for each other.” </p>
<p>In a way Ren felt reassured by his grandmother’s words and he wanted to believe those. The dreams were so magical and reoccurring that there had to be something significant behind them, yet soulmates was still a concept he couldn’t grasp for the moment.  </p>
<p>Eventually, it took a long time until he dreamed of the other one again. While there was never a fixed date of the month or a period in that those dreams happened, it was the longest time between two of those dreams. More than ever Ren was insecure about what to do. So many options were available, yet none of them felt right.  </p>
<p>Should he just wait until the morning like he used to do before?<br/>
Should he wake up the other one and talk to him?<br/>
Should he try to leave? </p>
<p>However, before he could make a decision, the boy turned around and looked at him. “You again.”<br/>
“Hello.” Ren had no idea what else to say. Maybe he should apologise, but the whole situation wasn’t even his fault.<br/>
Also, he couldn’t help but stare the other one’s face. He was handsome and his hair had grown over the summer which only enhanced his features. That such a handsome person might be his soulmate – the thought made Ren’s heart beat faster for a reason. </p>
<p>"Why are you here?”<br/>
“I don’t know.” It felt wrong to answer with his grandmother’s theory. They talked for the first time and it felt wrong to talk about something like soulmates already. Even him who believed in destiny thought that soulmates were another level. Destiny controlled his own way and maybe he was destined to meet certain people, but that it also connects his soul to someone else? It felt weird in a way. “But I’m not a monster.” </p>
<p>“But you watch me sleeping.” The boy pulled both his plushie and the towel closer to himself as if he tried to protect himself.<br/>
“I’m sorry, but I can’t control it.”<br/>
“Go away.” The voice of the other one was so full of rejection that Ren could feel it in his heart and in turn he woke up again.  </p>
<p>Feeling the other one’s rejection once again made Ren feel like he was going through a heartbreak for real. He still didn’t know how real the whole thing was and yet being rejected in a dream hurt him. He didn’t know the other one’s name and yet he felt a connection to him. He didn't know what it was all about and yet it felt important to him. He wanted to fix the situation in some way.  </p>
<p>The question, however, was how he could do that. He didn’t even know the name of the other one. All he knew was that the boy played baseball but there were a lot of baseball playing kids in this world. He had no choice but hoping that destiny would bring them together one day. </p>
<p>However, before they met in real life, the dreams continued. Once more Ren visited the other one’s bedroom. This time, the boy was sleeping surrounded by a lot of pillows and cushions as he had built a wall to protect himself for Ren. Once more Ren’s heart broke, but he couldn’t blame the other one. It was indeed weird that he kept appearing in the other one’s bedroom and he wanted to stop it, yet he hadn't discovered a way for that yet.</p>
<p>Not wanting the other one to wake up, Ren tried to stay as quiet as possible when he made himself comfortable in the other one’s room. He planned not to do anything until the morning came, so that the other one could sleep in peace and wouldn’t hate him more. </p>
<p>When his eyes wondered through the room, Ren spotted a medal that looked like it was one in some baseball tournament and on that medal, there was a name: Takumi.<br/>
“I’m sorry, Takumi.” </p>
<p>For the next few months, the dreams continued like they used to do. Takumi was sleeping soundly like Ren tried his best not to wake him and to watch over his sleep. To entertain himself in that time, he sometimes did Takumi’s homework which was laying around in the room. It seemed like the other one was often too tired after his baseball practises to do it and since Ren didn’t have anything better to do, he wanted to be helpful at least.  </p>
<p>When there was no homework to do, Ren found other ways to quietly entertain himself. Around the same time Ren had picked up Origami as way to kill time in his real life, Takumi must have done the same because one night he found the items for that in the other one’s room. Hence, sometimes Ren folded some gifts for the other one. He liked making stars, thus the majority of gifts were little stars that he placed on the other one’s desk – as an apology.  </p>
<p>However, he never stopped to hope to meet Takumi in real life. He wanted to talk to him, to apologise to him for real. Yet he had no idea where to start. Sure, baseball was a hint, but Ren had already graduated a few months ago and no idea about the teams in general. The medal had been from a nationwide highschool tournament, so he didn’t even know where he was exactly, in which city Takumi’s bedroom was placed.  </p>
<p>And then, one day, those dreams stopped. It was about the time when Takumi should have graduated from highschool and eventually Ren started to think that may it was better this way. Maybe they were soulmates, but it didn’t have to mean a thing. Maybe destiny had other plans for the two of them. At first, he was sad not to see Takumi anymore, but actually he was relieved. Without him Takumi would sleep well. Because after their one talk, the pillow wall around Takumi had stayed. </p>
<p>Ren went on with his life and at one point he even forgot about the dreams. He only had one dream in mind: him becoming a professional dancer. Destiny took him to the capital and he found a job as a dancer. Living his own dream made him forget the boy from his dreams after a while. He didn't think about him anymore and focused on the path ahead of him. </p>
<p>Next to his job of dancing on stage, Ren had also taken up a job as a dance teacher. Sharing his passion for dancing with everyone who was willing to learn it was more fun than he expected. Luck continued to stay on his side and he got a lot of students from various age ranges, so if there was no job as a dancer for him, he still had enough money for living.  </p>
<p>Thus, when someone named Takumi signed up for his classes, he didn’t think much about that at first. Somewhere in the back in his mind, this name sounded familiar, but he didn’t know where he knew it. The name wasn’t uncommon but for some reason he felt like he knew that person.  </p>
<p>There was the same familiar feeling in his chest that he couldn’t place anywhere when the other one walked into the dance studio. He felt like he had met the other one before, yet he didn’t know where. However, the slightly surprised look on Takumi’s face told him that the other one was feeling in a similar way.  </p>
<p>“It’s you. You are real.” was all that his new student said before running towards Ren nd hugging him.<br/>
This made Ren even more puzzled. Those words didn’t make any sense especially when he felt the one other clinging to his chest.<br/>
"I found you. I finally found you.”, said the one in his arms.<br/>
“But why where you looking for me?” The other one wasn't some junior from his former school, he was sure about that.<br/>
“Don’t you remember me anymore?” </p>
<p>It took only one look into the other one's pleading eyes for Ren to remember. He remembered the boy looking with a scared gaze at him and himself being happy not to see his eyes anymore because it meant that the boy was sleeping peacefully. He remembered that he hoped to meet him in the real world one day, so that he could apologise. “Takumi...” </p>
<p>“Yes, that’s me. You remember me?”<br/>
“I think so.” The whole situation was so confusing. Takumi was real and right in front of him. Since the dreams had stopped, he hadn’t dared to hope that this day would come. “But I thought you hated me. You called me a monster. Why are you so happy to see me?”<br/>
“No monster would do my homework for me or would leave me stars.” </p>
<p>Takumi was still clinging to him, yet Ren’s confusion grew with every second. Not only Takumi was real but also all his actions in those dreams had been real? How was that possible? There was no logical explanation. But then the words from his grandmother from years ago came echoed in his mind: </p>
<p>
  <i>Sometimes when the stars align just right, you and your soulmate are able to meet even if you are apart from each other.  </i>
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Takumi.” For so long Ren wanted to tell him those words and yet his mind still didn’t realise how real that moment was. He was holding Takumi in his arms and he was happy to see him.<br/>
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I understand that now.” </p>
<p>“How?” Maybe for the first time in the recent years, Ren completely forgot about dancing. Takumi had come to learn dancing but there were so many questions that needed to be answered first, so instead of starting the lesson or continuing to stand in the middle of the room, Ren took the man of his dreams to a small sitting corner in the back of the room.</p>
<p>Even after sitting down, Takumi didn’t let go of Ren fully. His hand took Ren’s one as if he wanted to make sure not to let go of him anymore. “Sometimes I was awake and I watched you. You were so gentle and each time you apologised to me. After some time, I couldn't think of you as a monster anymore. Rather I was convinced that you were my guarding angel.”<br/>
“No, I’m a human just like you.” Ren wondered whether he should mention the soulmate thing. It didn’t feel that surreal in that moment anymore. After finally meeting Takumi and having him confirmed that everything had been real, everything was possible now.<br/>
“I know. I was so sad when you left me, but then I started to see you sleeping.”<br/>
“For real?” </p>
<p>Ren was a deep sleeper, thus he never woke up at night which in turn made him miss the other one’s visits.<br/>
“Did you never notice that someone cleaned your room?”<br/>
“I did, but I thought it was Sho, my roommate.”<br/>
“No, he was always too tired after work to do so. I thought that after you did nice things for me, I should pay you back in some way.”<br/>
“Thank you, Takumi.”  </p>
<p>Still, there were questions Ren still had. Why did the visits shifts? Why did they stop for a while only to start again? His grandmother never had an answer for those questions. She always told him that the stars decided that. "Did you do anything to make me stop visiting?"<br/>
"I have a theory. You can't visit when the other one doesn't sleep alone."<br/>
"And you didn't sleep alone at that time?" It did make sense. Each time he had been alone in Takumi's room.<br/>
"Yes, after our first talk I was so scared that I decided to sleep in my brother's room for awhile. And the last two years... I was with someone."</p>
<p>Ren felt his heart sinking. While he knew that being soulmates didn't neccesarily had to mean something romantic and they had just met each other for the first time in real life, he had always haboured some small crush on Takumi. "I see."<br/>
"But it's over now. I decided to tell my partner about my dreams, but well... I guess hearing that your boyfriend dreams often about someone else isn't a thing you want to hear."<br/>
"I'm sorry." He did feel responsible for it in some way. All he always hoped was that Takumi was happy and not affected by his visits.<br/>
"It's okay. It gave me the courage to look for you finally."</p>
<p>It was a mix of feelings that Ren had in that moment. There was thankfulness that Takumi had found him and regret that he had affected the other one's life so much. Yet the main emotion was happiness. Him being in the same room as Takumi and both of them being actually awake made Ren feel as comfortable as he never felt before. Having the other one close to him felt right in a way. “But how did you find me in the end?”<br/>
“It was difficult. I only knew that you were a dancer and the city... This is the 5th or 6th dance studio that I visited.”<br/>
The dancer was amazed by the dedication of the other one, yet at the same time he also felt somewhat bad for giving up so easily.  </p>
<p>“Did you ever wonder why this all happened? Why we visited each other in our dreams?”, Takumi asked while still not letting go of Ren's hand.<br/>
“My grandma used to tell me that it was because we are soulmates. When the stars align, we can meet even when we are apart.”<br/>
“This sounds beautiful. I always liked the stars. That’s why I kept yours until now.” </p>
<p>Although Ren wasn’t the type of person to cry easily, he felt the first tears gathering in his eyes. After all those years, he was meeting his soulmate and he couldn’t help but finally fully agree that Takumi was his soulmate. Noone had made him feel like that in his life. Noone had made him feel at home from the moment he laid his arms around him. Destiny was a funny thing but eventually it had made them meet. “You didn’t have to. It was just the work of a bored teenager.” </p>
<p>“But I wanted to. It was the only thing that reminded me that you were real and not a product of my mind.”<br/>
“But you thought I was a monster.”<br/>
“At first, but then you became my monstar.”<br/>
“Your what?”<br/>
“Monstar. Mon is French for my and star is star. Together it kinda sounds like monster, but since you always left stars for me you became my star.” </p>
<p>Thanks to this cute but funny nickname the tears didn’t stay long in Ren’s eyes. Takumi was just too cute. “So, you don’t even know my name?”<br/>
Shyly Takumi looked away and Ren couldn’t help but smile. “It’s Ren. My name is Ren and for the longest time I had hoped to find you in this world.”<br/>
“Hello Ren. Finally, you and I are together.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello~<br/>Kawakawa nation are you still alive? No?<br/>Monstar was a feast and so meaningful thus that story was born<br/>I hope you like it!<br/>See you~</p></blockquote></div></div>
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